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Post by Anna Blair Black on Aug 9, 2007 18:51:07 GMT -5
.....to give a damn
For a happy go lucky seeming human being, Anna Blair was not that sociable. She had lapsed into one of her dark moods today, longing for her depression medication. Unfortunatly, she had forgotten it at home. Which reminded her...she needed to send an owl to Ginny asking her to send it. It was a nice enough day, so she fetched her tawny owl, uncreativley named Tawny, and sat by the lake. Tawny perched above her head while she leaned back against a tree, letting one jeaned leg stretch out. Leaning on the opposite knee, she began to write.
Dear mum,
I am writing to tell you that all isn't going well with me at all. ACtually, this is one of the most depressing school years I've had so far. I think I'm regressing back to my loner state, no one seems to want to talk to me. But maybe I'm just being paranoid.
I had one of my night terrors last night. It was worse than usual. I saw the face of the guy, Mum. I went and sat in the common room for the rest of the night, too afraid to go back to sleep. James came down and held me for a long time until I finally stopped crying and shaking. I don't know what I'd do without him and Adam here Mum. Can you send me my medicine? I left it on my desk at home. Today has been on of my dark days and I don't have anything to kill it with. I appreciate it.
Give my love to Dad and Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione. I miss everyone and am looking foward to the holidays. I wish you could come see our first Quidditch match. Both Malfoys are on the team, and Matt espeically seems to take pleasure in taunting me about my grandfather. Him and the Lestrange girl that's here now. Mum, I can't seem to control myself around her and I hate it. It's like my emotions take on a life of their own, so please don't be too suprised with McGonagall sends you an owl saying I've been fighting.
I love you Mum!
Love, Anna Blair
Tears had started leaking from her dark eyes as she wrote to her mother. WEll, it wasn't really her mother, it was her foster mother. Her grandfather had been SIrius Black, the godfather to the famous Harry Potter. AFter the death eater murdered her parents, she'd gone to Harry and been taken in. His family became hers. She missed them terribly.
She tied the letter to Tawny's leg and sent her off. Now she was really lonely. She didn't even have the energy or motivation to go see Eagle, her horse. Anna Blair let her head lay back against the trunk of the oak and closed her eyes. She hated this place sometimes.
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Post by . x . Della Angelus on Aug 9, 2007 19:24:01 GMT -5
A tiny figure flapped it's striped black wings as the breeze blew. Personally Della liked to fly by herself. It was difficult to control her tiny frame with the wind blowing every which way. Then she saw a very close person to her. Della shifted once she was behind a tree. Went behind as a butterfly, came around as a walking beauty. Della moved quickly as he saw the tear marks on her friend's face and frowned. Della cried a lot now too.
"Anna, are you OK?" She asked softly and sat down softly beside Anna and put a arm over her shoulder and pulled her close. Anna was having a very hard time and Della knew this because nothing could separate them. No matter what. Della pulled a few locked of hair that fell into her vision back and looked at Anna in a concerned expression. [/sup] |
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Post by Anna Blair Black on Aug 10, 2007 12:57:38 GMT -5
Anna Blair opened her eyes to Della's soft voice and gave a weak smile. How could she possibly explained? Her closest friends knew about her nightterrors, but they never really understood the effect they had on her.
"I had another night terror last night, Del. It was worse than it usually is. And I don't have my medicine with me, so I'm a mess rightnow."
She rested her head on her friends shoulder, grateful for the company and the comfort. She felt like a child again, small, insecure, and helpless. She was at the mercy of her dreams, at the mercy of the man who had broken her so completely.
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Post by Albus Potter on Aug 10, 2007 13:18:54 GMT -5
He was in a daze today, wondering down by the lake and skipping rocks in it. It was funny how when you didn't want company there were always people around you and when you wanted company....they vanished. He was bored out of his mind and desperately needed someone to talk to, especially since he had a mind to go buy more blood suckers and send them to Frae as a lovely present, although he knew it would be less dangerous if he got someone else to do it...He shrugged it off, his brother was the mastermind there, Al was just the one who thought of ways to do it, now he was becoming his brother, something he hated. More so now since the boy was dating that Andromeda Malfoy.
Looking up, the ebon haired lad saw two girls by a large tree. One was an adoptive sister and the other, well, a friend Albus supposed. He wlaked a little closer absently to see what was up, the hufflepuff girl was hugging Anna, he came closer to see that Anna had been crying. Albus Potter would have taken off in a run to find what was up but instead he walked a tad faster and came on Anna's other side he kneeled then sat down beside her. "Hey, Anna, what's up." The tone was his maturing voice was soft and soothing, he knew she was probably mailing his mother for medicine, Albus was flared by a tug in his heart, she didn't need it, she thought she did but she didn't.
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Post by Anna Blair Black on Aug 10, 2007 13:26:38 GMT -5
Anna saw her brother coming and forced a smile on her face. But he saw right through it, just as he always did. He was the one who knew her best. James was good for a hug and a laugh, but Al was the listener. He knew her on a different level than anyone else. She shifted and looked at him.
"I had a night terror, Al. I saw him again, but he was closer to me. He almost caught me."
Her voice cracked, displaying the struggle of emotions going on behind her dark eyes. She squeezed them shut and rested her forehead on her knee. Reduced to a child she was, bound by fear and sadness. And she hated it.
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Post by Albus Potter on Aug 11, 2007 19:47:39 GMT -5
Albus had figured it would be a night terror and when Anna confirmed he gave grimace. Following the terrors were depression and medicine, something she could do without but refused to believe. He sighed lightly and looked at Anna, her face was stained with tears and she looked mortified. His biggest comfort was holding her, he was slightly taller so it worked when sitting down. He gave a side smile and tried to pull her on his lap, he was sure she would submit but sometimes Anna was a surprise.
He shook his head, she was so fragile with family but when she was past that she was tough and able, her heart was best in a petery dish and stuffed somewhere safe, but there wasn't a sich place in this harsh world. He kissed the top of her head, full of hair, and thought of something to say. "Anna, it was a dream...That's not real, this, right here, me, mum, dad, James, Adam....We're real, we are here for you and your safe with us and your other friends." Al gave a slight look to the blonde on the other side. "We can get through it, every night, until you close your eyes and relax, all of us are here for you, your safe..." He rocked back and forth and closed his eyes for a minute; the dreams were from her subconsciousness and the only thing to get past it was, well heal and not to fear it. He didn't know how to do this with Anna, he wasn't sure opf anything but his words alot of times...
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Post by Matthew Malfoy on Aug 12, 2007 15:20:50 GMT -5
Anna was suprised when Albus pulled her into his lap, but let him. He had never been one for this much affection, especially with her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face against his shoulder. His words were soothing, reassuring her of the fact that she had people who didn't care about the fragile state of her emotions and heart. Albus hit to the core of the problem: as afraid as she was of the subconcious, she forgot about the real people. She withdrew from them because she was scared they would be ripped away from her, the way her parents had.
"Al, I don't know how. I'm tired of being scared and feeling like this almost every day."
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Post by Albus Potter on Aug 12, 2007 16:29:50 GMT -5
Albus was never like his brother, his affection level was only high for extremely close ones, he had never especially shown his high affection for Anna but he felt now was a time to hol dher close and tell her the living, breathing truth. He was worried that she would withdraw and become someone Albus and James wouldn't recognize. Teenagers scared the shit out of Albus, even though he was one at the moment, he didn't like how many could be and the reactions he himself even took. He was analitical alot but he still acted like the kid he was, just he refelcted about his fear at times like this.
He stroked her head and bit his lipm on the inside; she was worth more to him than his blood at the moment and he couldn't see why she had terrors when she knew she was safe...or did she even know that? It was as if James or Albus must sleep in a large bed with her to let her know she was fine. The thought made Albus smile a little, it seemed so childish and he could joke about it...but not now. He sighed and pulled Anna back to let her look at him. "You know nothing would happen to you as long as James, Adam, and me were there for you and we always will be, at least I always will be." He smiled at her encourgaingly; she was really stressed about this and very scared. "You know, if you keep having them just run in the boys' dorm and get me, I'll stay up with you when you're too scared to try to sleep again alone. You also have the girls in the girls' dorm, they can comfort you..." Underneath his bretah was the addition to the statement. Not as well as I can though.
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Post by Anna Blair Black on Aug 14, 2007 7:29:44 GMT -5
Albus' words had a strange effect on her. Anna Blair locked her gaze on his, listening to him. He was soothing her the way he always hadand she loved him all the more for it. A smile, a real one, appeared on her face this time, although it was small.
"Thanks Al. I don't know what Id' do without you."
She hugged him again, chuckling at the words tha the had muttered under his breath. He was right, no one else would be able to calm her down the way he did. A strange feeling blossomed in the pit of her stomach, an unexplainable fluttering.She pushed it aside, counting it as nothing.
"I'll try not to wake you up too much. Maybe they'll go away soon. I hope so...I: hate feeling like a kid again."
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